Open to loving you

I was looking through some stuff and found this. This is something I wrote to my ex-boyfriend around the start of our relationship. Basically, we were what an observer would say “incompatible”, thus we conceivably would have needed to work towards a middle ground, etc. He sought me out, hence the “induced love” on my part. We ended after a year and nine months.

Do you believe in love? I believe,
love is not the most important thing in a relationship.
What matters more is an open heart,
and a willingness to work towards compatibility,
mutual tolerance,
mutual support.

Don’t marry the one you love;
love the one you marry.
I want to —
and will —
strive to achieve a harmonious symbiosis with you,
and I think – would you agree? —
that is most important.

Induced love,
what do you make of it?
It is any different from organic love?
I question this often.
Do I — Can I —
Actually love? Sometimes I think I’ve lost the ability to love.
What if my love for you is an induced love?
Would it make a difference?
To me, no — but to you?

On the other hand: What is concrete fact is that
I want to make us work.
You are —
and I believe this with every fibre of my being —
everything I want, and need,
and, this might be selfish, but I don’t want to lose you.

So, my dearest:
I may not be able to pindown a definitive emotion of love,
yet,
It is after all a frivolous and elusive sentiment;
Impractical at times —
but
I am willing,
to love you,

open,
to loving you

with all my heart.