The Not-So-Secret Secret Family

Secretss, Collet, WYSE are triplet Princesses, governed by poedgirl the Queen.

Secretss has the power of electricity and is able to call lightning down upon the land. She also has split-personalities.

Collet is the ice princess and can shoot ice projectiles that slice through bones, but she never hurts anything without giving it a chance.

WYSE controls plants and animals and is good at manipulating vines to strangle her foes. She has an unfortunate love for weeds.

poedgirl is skilled at transmogrification. She can take on the shape and form of any person, being, or object, and also inherent their powers (if any) and personality(ies) for twelve hours.

Pyroball is the dashing Prince clad in red. He has the power of fire, but he is too sweet and good to use his powers for evil. He also has a horse, paddymelon.

rcg is the all knowing uncle who protects the Queen and Princesses. He has Super Cow powers and suffers from penile overendowment.

SpookyLurker is the very old grandpa who got so old that he died and got reincarnated as a young ghost. He lurks around the corridor humming “Tiptoe Through The Tulips” to himself.

Jeremy is the grumpy old goat that everyone except Snuupy loves. Jeremy hates stupid ninjas, and is allergic to newspapers.

artypig78 is the piggy that everybody loves. He is mortally afraid of magik. magik only loves him for his meat.

paddymelon is artypig78’s son. He is a virgin birth and suffers from an identity crisis since birth. He takes the form of a horse, but insists that he is a melon.

Pondeuce is the abominable snowman who likes penguin meat. He is Collet’s closest friend and confidant.

Nighthawk is the Master Jedi skilled in reverse grip Djem So lightsaber combat. He is enigmatic, laconic, and keeps mostly to his chamber where he meditates and trains.

D2 is the Man-In-Black in charge of Castle Defence Against Naked Aliens (CDANA). He is carries a memory flasher and drives a silver lamborghini. He proposed to Secretss and she said yes.

Pirogoeth is the sexy purple-haired vampire hairdresser with awesome hair. He’s always moping around and doesn’t believe that Collet and Secretss love him. He has a crush on WYSE but WYSE pines after the elusive NinjaLikesCheez.

Dissident is the quirky bad tempered castle caretaker. He has a creepy crush on the Queen.

Snuupy is a cousin twice removed. We don’t know whose cousin. His parents are the castle chamberlain and the lady in waiting.

Joejama is an orphan that Jeremy found unconscious on the street. He was brought back to the castle on Jeremy’s horns and adopted by the family as the newspaper boy. Jeremy and Joejama have been best friends ever since.

Toastn1nj4 is the giant 6 feet tall, talking, walking, toast plushie and the sister of Helpmy360isEMO. She is skilled in magic languages, and has a staff in the form of a giant paintbrush.

Helpmy360isEMO is a marvel of technology. He is an artificially intelligent sentient being from a game who went rogue and got trapped inside an android. He has 1337 hacking skills and he smells like bacon.

NinjaLikesCheez is the charming family ninja cum assassin, and Snuupy is his annoying disciple. NLC often disappears without a trace leaving Snuupy behind, and turns up 3 months later with exotic gifts for Collet.

Squashy is the family space pirate doctor. He likes waving his cutlass about and is very good at amputation. He goes “YARR, drink up, me hearties!” at everybody he meets. He lives in a pirate ship in the middle of the lake, and has his own pirate crew of leprechauns.

Skram is another Prince from the faraway planet Stickeet. He is over a millennium old in his planet’s years, but only 7 years older than Collet on our planet. He came to our land on Squashy’s spaceship, which crash-landed and is being repaired by Helpmy360isEMO. Skram and Collet are engaged.

Ramsey is the castle IT guy. He wears thick, black glasses and sleeps with his bluetooth headset on and his iPhone in hand. He absolutely hates Dissident after Dissident’s sheep bit him for stealing from the castle distillery.

TheSexyPenguin and Lpp are twin brother penguins, TSP gets the sexy and the sex, and Lpp gets the brain and the smarts. They are always plotting to kill Pondeuce by bringing the Sun closer to the planet, but they have not succeeded yet. TheSexyPenguin recently learned a new move, Fly, and he has been tormenting rcg ever since.

UndeadRevolution is the sexy house pet adopted by Ramsey. He is a minx cat who wears high-tech visor-like spectacles. He dislikes sausages and water. He is also friends with Kaikz.

Kaikz is the adorable Pikachu. He is Secretss’ go-to pet when she needs company. Kaikz and UndeadRevolution like to poke MMiller in the eye when he accidentally falls asleep on dry land.

MMiller is the silent alligator who lives at the bottom of the lake. He comes up to dry land sometimes. He is friends with the penguins, and hates cats.

magik is the surly crocodile who loves bacon, but he’s not too smart, so he often chases after Helpmy360isEMO by mistake.

SillySausage is the evilest villian of the land. He has a stinky lair somewhere east of the castle where he types on his computers all day scheming to overthrow our monarchy. Unfortunately for him, he holds a soft spot for Secretss. Little does the family know, Joejama is his illegitimate son sent to spy on the family.

ajm2k is the crippled villain living on the west side of the castle. He is always trying to brainwash Toastn1nj4 to join his crusade, but Helpmy360isEMO comes to her rescue. He is at loggerheads with SillySausage and is always trying to one-up SillySausage in destroying the family, but he fails because he’s a lame villain.

We live on the planet Ventreensu in a castle surrounded by a snowcovered farm and a big lake.