Secretss

Psycho Baby Doll

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Memory

In memory of a beautiful but ill-fated love

Finally, I get to pick up all the pieces, from all the places, put them into a box – so to speak, if a box is a bunch of pages behind a password protected wall on a blog I hardly touch – and delete them from my notes, my folders, my bookmarks, my memory. It’s time for a proper burial.

Someone said to me, “you know that relationship will never lead anywhere, quit pretending it will”. I find it ironic and galling that the person who said it was reason 1 out of 2 that it didn’t lead anywhere, and reason 2 wasn’t me. It was my fault the relationship was damaged from the start but it wasn’t my fault it couldn’t be fixed.

Lyrics:
Lost ourselves
Memories burn, no starting over, no getting over you
If love had found us first
Will you be there if I call?
快乐, 什么时候会结束呢
What hurts more is I would still die for you

Memories:
Dates
Our happy times
Trying to get my Japanese right

Pasties:
It’s completely insane
Conversation with
Conversation with
I loved you too late
Letter 1
Letter 2
Goodbye, I love you
Balmain window
Party details
Good fucking bye
Incoherence
It could have been perfect
We’re that song you wouldn’t sing

Article

Ultrabook specs

So many new ultrabooks, so little time to read about them.

http://ultrabooknews.com/haswell-ultrabooks/

This is just a list of things I want to consider about potential ultrabooks (sometimes I forget to look out for them). Comments in brackets are those of my current ultrabook.

  • Processor, which generation intel (intel sandy bridge 2nd gen, core i5)
  • Operating system (windows 7)
  • Graphics card, dedicated/integrated (integrated Intel HD Graphics 3000)
  • Storage, SSD or HDD (128 SSD, no HDD)
  • RAM (4GB DDR3)
  • Thickness (0.71 inches, 18mm)
  • Weight (2.99lbs, 1.36kg)
  • Screen size (13.3 inches)
  • Display resolution, type (1366 x 768, glossy, LCD)
  • Screen brightness (300 nits)
  • Keyboard layout, separated arrow keys (good, arrow keys in their own island)
  • Keyboard menu key, media keys (no menu key, yes media/hot keys)
  • Keyboard travel (good)
  • Keyboard backlit or not (backlit)
  • Touchpad, buttons (abysmal trackpad, unresponsive, no physical buttons)
  • Ports (1 USB 2.0, 1 USB 3.0, 1 mini displayport, 1 headphone+mic jack)
  • Fan slits, noise (hidden at bottom, quiet to none)
  • Material flex (minimal to none)
  • Battery life (< 3 hours now)
  • Boot up time (~30 seconds now)
  • Touchscreen (no)
  • Bluetooth (bluetooth 3.0 + hs)
  • Wifi (802.11 b/g/n)

Side note: I HATE my current ultrabook.

Edit:
ultrabook comparison

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Typically inaccessible

Seems like I have very boring, solitary interests/hobbies.

I love doing jigsaw puzzles and word searches. I like spending time with my computer/devices, which while gives me access to people to socialise with, is a socially limiting past-time.

I love watching speed art, digital or otherwise, but it’s awkward to get someone to watch and appreciate a good speed art video together. I like these webcomics, but they’re not the funny or cute kind.

I love watching videos that make you feel awe. I like reading things that often spark something in me that’s not typically humour. I find this interesting, do you?

I generally don’t subscribe to mainstream entertainment genres like comedy or cute, so I don’t often have anything crowd-pleasing to share. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not a grouch or a hipster wannabe. I do engage positively in those genres when shared with me, and I welcome them. But I’m hardly ever the person who discovers them and passes them on. I just don’t find such material easily. How do these people do it? Maybe I’m just not a happy/funny person so I don’t naturally tend towards funny material.

Then I wonder, why be concerned about pandering to the common masses with easy humour and cheap cuteness when I can be content sharing things that takes a bit more depth to appreciate? But that sounds elitist.

And sometimes, I just want to be interesting and cheerful so people I want to hang out with want to hang out with me.

Sometimes I just want to join in.

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It’s a wonderful day for decapitation.

Yay, my apple ID problem has resolved itself (I didn’t do anything else after the blog post), it’s 4 days to my flight on Sunday evening, and I do think I have bipolar disorder. I am also falling sick. NOOOO NOT NOW.

Well anyway. If you were curious about previous post’s title, you can find the ringtone available for download here: http://secretss.com/misc/UISounds

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Do not eat the tampon, you sick bitch.

I recently changed my apple IDs (again) and now I’m in a bit of a jam. My SG store apple ID is working fine, but my US store apple ID is weirding out. My season pass reminders and iTunes store receipts are still being sent to my old apple ID, which means my old email address is still in their system and still in use, even though the new email address is shown (as it should) when I log into my account on iTunes and on the web.

This, I think, is a security flaw albeit a minor one. What if I no longer have access to my old inbox? Maybe the reason I changed my apple ID was that my old email account had been compromised. Those receipts (among other stuff) are being sent there and someone else could be reading them, and they will (supposedly) know where I live because the billing address (I used a fake US one) is shown. They will also know my shopping habits as well as any new apple ID I decide to change to.

Given that I still have access to the old inbox, it’s not a big deal, but it is annoying because I really want to quit using the old email address (the username is defiantbrat, for god’s sake) and Apple is about the only entity still delivering emails there. It might not matter as much if the same emails were also being sent to the correct apple ID, but they aren’t, except the account information change notification email when I changed the apple ID again to a new new apple ID. And I think that just made things worse because now I’m getting emails delivered to the old apple ID, the new apple ID, and the new new apple ID.

What the fagging flipping fuck.

But that’s not the worse of it. I went to their support page and opened a ticket and was informed that I needed to close my account as a means to resolve this issue. Okkaayyy. I was asked to either make a call or leave my number for the Apple Security Team to contact me. The fact that I’m not actually in the United States nor own a United States number makes this terribly, terribly, inconvenient and difficult. I opted to call them since my local number is “invalid” and spent 14 internationally-charged minutes explaining my issue to two people and a machine, and in the end was directed back to the support page and asked to either make a call or leave my number for the Apple Security Team to contact me.

Thanks a flipping bunch.

The odd thing is, I’ve changed the apple ID for my SG account twice and both instances yielded no such issues.

Article

I feel breathless and out of time

I’ve pretty much disappeared from this blog for the longest time (the little bits of posts now and then really don’t count as blogging when I look back on my earlier looooong recounts of my days).

Anyway, I doubt I’ll return to blogging, but this is just an update about what I’ve been up to. I’ve basically stopped messing around with iOS and I haven’t been very geeky lately (I think my last geek out was making a circuit board necklace months ago), though I still hang out (virtually) with the people in the scene. I recently picked up dancing, hip hop to be exact, and I kind of suck at it, but I love it. I also have a huge crush on one of my dance instructors. Why is he so awesome?

I’m going to Sydney, Australia, on the **** of *** but please don’t bomb my plane. Many chapters of my life here will end; volume 1 is almost over and even though volume 2 is beginning and looks promising, right now heartbreak is the dominating emotion. I form attachments too easily.

I’ll be studying in Sydney for about 2 years and will probably find work there after graduation. Short term plan, I’ll be there for 5 years. My brother is also going over; he’s a lot older and will be settling there for good. I still want to come back here to build my future, but my mom would like to move to Australia eventually, too. It is likely that I may not have family here to return to, so I may have to “start anew”, in a sense. Mm.

Uh.. I’m stuck for words so goodbye for now.

Article

Open to loving you

I was looking through some stuff and found this. This is something I wrote to my ex-boyfriend around the start of our relationship. Basically, we were what an observer would say “incompatible”, thus we conceivably would have needed to work towards a middle ground, etc. He sought me out, hence the “induced love” on my part. We ended after a year and nine months.

Do you believe in love? I believe,
love is not the most important thing in a relationship.
What matters more is an open heart,
and a willingness to work towards compatibility,
mutual tolerance,
mutual support.

Don’t marry the one you love;
love the one you marry.
I want to —
and will —
strive to achieve a harmonious symbiosis with you,
and I think – would you agree? —
that is most important.

Induced love,
what do you make of it?
It is any different from organic love?
I question this often.
Do I — Can I —
Actually love? Sometimes I think I’ve lost the ability to love.
What if my love for you is an induced love?
Would it make a difference?
To me, no — but to you?

On the other hand: What is concrete fact is that
I want to make us work.
You are —
and I believe this with every fibre of my being —
everything I want, and need,
and, this might be selfish, but I don’t want to lose you.

So, my dearest:
I may not be able to pindown a definitive emotion of love,
yet,
It is after all a frivolous and elusive sentiment;
Impractical at times —
but
I am willing,
to love you,

open,
to loving you

with all my heart.

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My blog has decided to underp!

A friendly support staff from my host kindly informed me today using the word “underp” which threw a smile on my face immediately.

I don’t really have much to say right now.

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Sherlocked

I’ve been watching BBC’s Sherlock tv show the last few days. Getting a bit obsessed too. That gif above is going to take a few seconds to fully load. It’s 3.36mb. Spoilers ahead. I’ve got two major questions about the last episode of season 2. No, not how he orchestrated his fake death. About the key code.

Update2: I’ve posted two of these questions at Reddit too. The key code business has been somewhat discussed there. I really suggest reading the Reddit thread.

  • Season 2 Episode 2 (end): Mycroft releases Moriarty after an exchange of information. Season 2 Episode 3: John confronts Mycroft.

    John: How did you meet him?
    Mycroft: People like him, we know about them, we watch them. But James Moriarty… the most dangerous criminal mind the world has ever seen, and, in his pocket, the ultimate weapon. The key code. A few lines of computer code that can unlock any door.
    John: And you abducted him to try and find the key code?
    Mycroft: Interrogated him for weeks.
    John: And?
    Mycroft: He wouldn’t play along. He just sat there staring into the darkness. The only thing that made him open up… I could get him to talk, just a little. But…
    John: In return you had to offer him Sherlock’s life story.

    Why didn’t John ask Mycroft for the key code? In the next scene John arrives at Barts and listens to Sherlock talk about how they need the key code to hack into the records to erase Richard Brook and bring back Moriarty, but John mentions nothing of Mycroft nor the interrogation over the key code. Why? Did his conversation with Mycroft somehow not convince him that Mycroft has the key code? Note that John may not know like the audience does that the Mycroft-Moriarty interrogations happened before the key code heist. Remember that Moriarty disappeared for two months after the heist’s court hearing (reported in an in-universe newspaper), so it’s very possible for John to believe Mycroft brought Moriarty in for questioning about the key code during this time. So why did he not conclude from the conversation that Mycroft has the key code? (Possible answer: their conversation really didn’t convince him of that. Mycroft’s line “I could get him to to talk just a little” was apparently (but not to me) supposed to be taken by John to mean that Moriarty didn’t give enough information for it (the info) to be the key code.)

  • Season 2 Episode 3: Sherlock learns that there was no key code and that Moriarty simply bribed his way. If there is no key code, then what exactly did Mycroft get from Moriarty during the exchange of information? (Possible answer: Moriarty offered information on his past crimes, or something other than the key code. He does have a lot of information other than the key code that any government would want. Also note that unlike John in the above confrontation, where Mycroft is concerned, Mycroft may not have brought Moriarty in for questioning about the key code (since the heist hasn’t even happened yet). It is possible that Mycroft is borrowing the topic of the key code to hide the actual contents of the interrogation.)

Update1: One more question:

  • Season 2 Episode 1: There was a plane crash in Dusseldorf, Germany. One of the passengers was found in the boot of a car in Southwark, England, with his passport stamped in Berlin. We know via a close up shot of the plane ticket that the plane was headed to Berlin. We know via Mycroft that the plane was stuffed with corpses and flown into Germany to be bombed by terrorists. But that doesn’t explain two things: (1) Why were the corpses prepared with passports stamped at the destination airport? The plane was expected to be bombed in mid-flight before reaching its destination. Unless the ticket was wrong to say “Destination: Berlin”?; (2) How did he end up where he is? Was the corpse being transported to the plane before lift off? Why were the corpses separately transported? What happened to the car driver?

Update3: Another question:

  • Season 2 Episode 1: Irene Adler said she gave Sherlock six months with her camera phone to try and hack it. According to John’s blog (tie-in website, considered canon) and the episode itself, here is the time line:

    September: Buckingham Palace meeting, Irene Adler escaping, the start of the text messages.
    December: (Specifically, Christmas) The camera phone sent to Sherlock, Irene Adler’s fake death.
    New Years: Irene meets John, Sherlock discovers, acknowledges, and sends a greeting to Irene Adler.
    January: Sherlock starts working on the phone by x-raying it, etc.
    ???: Irene visits Sherlock and John, email gets decoded, Sherlock invited onto the 007 plane, camera phone unlocked.
    ???: Irene gets herself caught, Sherlock saves her.
    Two months later (March): Mycroft comes to John with her files and a story about a witness protection program. This month, according to John’s blog, is March.

    Well there’s obviously a mistake isn’t there? The first ??? date is between January and the second ??? date, which is likely before mid-February. She can’t have gotten caught any later than mid-February or Mycroft’s “two months ago” statement wouldn’t work. Though in fact, any way you look it, all the dates and statements don’t work. Even if you forget about Mycroft’s statement, Irene’s “six months” statement and John’s blog post in March still contradict each other. The longest period of time Sherlock could have spent with her phone is between Christmas and March. (Possible answer: The main culprit here is John’s blog having no year in the dates. If there was no restriction about March 2012 being the end of Irene Adler (in terms of her character being out of the story), then the 007 plane sequence could have happened in June and her “six months” statement would have held. So a possible answer is that the March blog post was actually a whole 15 months after the first camera-phone Christmas. Then we have the Christmas in 2011, the January in 2012 (because John blogs about the year going into 2012), Irene’s visit/the 007 plane event in June/July 2012, she gets caught and saved in January 2013, and Mycroft turns up with the files in March 2013. That would put Sherlock’s fake death in Episode 3 in June 2013 (see John’s blog post), which sets the time stage just right when season 3 starts in late 2013 or early 2014. Well, fuck, my mind just blew itself.)

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